Hi all :)
Today I thought I'd talk a little about what it is like to have invisible illnesses. I've been suffering for years with the ones I knew about and the one I didn't so this is a little history of my health and how I am now.
Lets start with the polysystic ovaries (PCOS). I was unaware I had it for a long time after all, I had no problem getting pregnant with my daughter! I was on the pill and using condoms at the time she was conceived so no issues right? I'd always had heavier periods than my friends but I just assumed that's just how it all works and was the reason I was on the pill in the first place was to control them. It wasn't until my daughter was around 3 that I discovered there was more going on. I was rushed to hospital with uncontrollable bleeding where I was told it was either a miscarriage or a burst cyst. After some tests they confirmed it wasn't a miscarriage. After that we were actively trying for another child with no luck, I had tests done but no answers. Turns out for the best really as he was cheating on me at the time and after I got rid he went on to father at least 2 other children so obviously the issue wasn't him it was me. After I got with my fiance we decided to try for a baby of our own, again I had all manner of tests with no clear results however the doctor has determined that I do have PCOS thanks to its lovely side effects of excess hair growth (Seriously, I could grow a pretty impressive neck beard!), difficulty losing weight, heavy and painful periods. I don't have any blockages in my tubes and the only time I know I've had a cyst is when it bursts. Fun times!
Next up diabetes. Oh how I hate this one. I am fully aware that this is my own fault in part even if I am genetically predisposed to it. I haven't been consistent with my treatments in the past (a mixture of denial and stress/depression) which has lead to where I am now. I used to say "I could never inject! it freaks me out!" hahahahahaha! It turns out yes I can, I have to because if I don't I'm putting my life at risk. I don't enjoy it, it hurts, my stomach is a patchwork of bruises and needle marks, my fingers ache from testing my blood and half my fridge is medication. On the up side, I eat better now, I actually have breakfast every day, in fact I have regular mealtimes now instead of just eating whenever I felt like it. Its limiting though, I can't be spontaneous anymore I have to plan things out and make sure I have enough medication and needles with me and cute little handbags are a thing of the past as they won't hold everything I need now.
Now the fibromyalgia. I worked out years ago that my body doesn't cope well with stress, quite a few people will remember when I got Bells Palsy or as it came to be known droopyface... I love my friends the bastards lol! That happened due to the stress of kicking out my ex and losing my home all at once. Thankfully it eventually went away, quite possibly because I laughed a lot when I had it and it worked the muscles. I still have some weakness in the left side of my face but I'm the only one who notices. It could come back but I'm not worried about it. Back to the point! I don't cope well with stress. I first got symptoms of fibro about 5 or 6 years ago I'd had yet another chest infection and the exhaustion wouldn't go away for months after it had cleared up. I also had a strange numb patch on my left leg, its freaky! You know when your hand or leg goes to sleep and you can't feel it? Before you move it and the pins and needles kick in? That's what this one part of my thigh feels like almost all the time, like theres a hole in my leg. If I stand too long though it does turn into pins and needles which can be very painful when it goes on for hours. This started around the time of my daughter being a hormonal teenager, a fiance with severe mental health issues and me being the sole earner for us all. I don't blame either of them or myself for that, I was under a lot of pressure at work and I wasn't handling it at all well. After my breakdown a couple of years ago when I was unable to return to work (I could barely leave the house) the exhaustion came back hard. After the trauma of last year it got even worse, progressively the pain started to get worse and even the simplest of tasks left me feeling like I could sleep for a week. I struggle every day to get through without falling asleep randomly (wouldn't be the first time I've almost stabbed myself with a sewing needle because I've fallen asleep while doing something). Car journeys are a struggle because of being restricted to sitting in one position causes pain and the motion of the car makes me drowsy/sick. Some days even just having a bath means I need a nap afterwards as its too much energy used. The absolute worst part for me is the mental fatigue or fibro fog as its known. Not to blow my own trumpet here but I'm quite intelligent, when the fog hits though I feel as if I've lost it all. I can't remember things or conversations I've had, whether I've taken my medication or not... its terrifying and frustrating. I know what I want to say but the words don't make sense, I have to ask people to repeat what they've said because its not computing in my brain, and its not complicated things either, the simplest of things can leave me confused and slightly annoyed at myself. Its hell, I genuinely wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
Ok, thats enough for now. I hope this gives a little insight on what its like to live with things that people can't see so assume isn't real. Until next time I have the energy to write :)
Gigglesnort x
Sunday, 7 May 2017
Thursday, 13 April 2017
Apologies (Brave the shave part 2)
Ok I'll start with an apology. I was going through a bit of a bad time and kind of lost my inspiration to write but I'm back!
So much has happened that I really don't know where to start so I will keep it brief.
I cut some toxic people out of my life. So called friends who really are only happy when someone else is miserable, I don't need that type of negativity, back stabbing and bitchiness in my life so bye fuckers! I'm much happier for it and I realise how people were judging me for who my friends are. I'm a grown assed adult, not a schoolgirl anymore!
I had to have a load of blood tests done as my health hadn't really improved since the pneumonia. They ruled everything possible out and diagnosed fibromyalgia. Honestly I think I would have preferred something treatable but I kind of knew. I've been back and forward to the doctors for years about pains in my joints and muscles and about feeling fatigued. I was fobbed off with it being the diabetes but now that is under control (yay for insulin 4 times a day!) I knew it wasn't that. I'll do a longer post on this soon.
Onwards to good things!
So I did go through with it and shaved my hair off!
I raised £200 and discovered that I look like my brother
I went back to knitting to relax. I made this Dragon wing scarf for myself and this Harley Quinn inspired shopping bag for my daughter. As well as a few other things.
I've also recently taught myself to crochet and I'm loving how easy it is! I'll do a proper post of my crafting at some point in the future, for now I'm just catching you up on what I've been up to.
That's all for now, I promise to try and write in this more often, provided I can find the laptop charger! Seriously, its vanished into the fucking ether!
Gigglesnort x
So much has happened that I really don't know where to start so I will keep it brief.
I cut some toxic people out of my life. So called friends who really are only happy when someone else is miserable, I don't need that type of negativity, back stabbing and bitchiness in my life so bye fuckers! I'm much happier for it and I realise how people were judging me for who my friends are. I'm a grown assed adult, not a schoolgirl anymore!
I had to have a load of blood tests done as my health hadn't really improved since the pneumonia. They ruled everything possible out and diagnosed fibromyalgia. Honestly I think I would have preferred something treatable but I kind of knew. I've been back and forward to the doctors for years about pains in my joints and muscles and about feeling fatigued. I was fobbed off with it being the diabetes but now that is under control (yay for insulin 4 times a day!) I knew it wasn't that. I'll do a longer post on this soon.
Onwards to good things!
So I did go through with it and shaved my hair off!
I've also recently taught myself to crochet and I'm loving how easy it is! I'll do a proper post of my crafting at some point in the future, for now I'm just catching you up on what I've been up to.
That's all for now, I promise to try and write in this more often, provided I can find the laptop charger! Seriously, its vanished into the fucking ether!
Gigglesnort x
Monday, 18 July 2016
Brave the shave (part 1)
I'm doing brave the shave to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support. In 20 days I will be shaving my head and hopefully I'll have raised some money for this great cause. I have been touched by cancer a few times in my life, my grandad and one of my uncles both died from it, one of my daughters great aunts on her dads side had breast cancer and my fiance's grandmother was either getting tested or was newly diagnosed when she passed away. I myself have been tested a few times, the first when I was 16, I found a lump and was terrified! Thankfully it was just a cyst but since then I've always kept a check on myself just in case.
The reason I've chosen to shave my head is simple, my hair is part of my identity. I dye it bright colours when I'm happy and normal colours when I'm working or down or I just need to give my hair a break from the bleaching.
This picture was taken just after I met my fiance, we were seeing Rise Against for the first time. Its not as bright in the pic as it was in real life but you get the idea. I've been dying my hair since I was a teenager when bright colours weren't seen as often as they are now. I think I went pink and purple the first time and I loved it! My friends didn't like it though and threatened to never be seen in public with me! That didn't stop me though as it made me feel great.
I think for me my hair is used to show who I am, almost in the same way as my tattoos and piercings are. I used to grow it long too but colour is hard to keep looking fresh in longer hair.
When I did this I had little kids asking me if I was a fairy, or if I was magical which is cute! I told one girl that I was a unicorn who decided to try being a person for a while, she giggled and told her mum I was funny.
I've had disasters over the years. The first time I tried to do blue it didn't work, it went an awful snot green and I ended up having to dye it black at 6am so I didn't look ridiulous at college that day. I've found better bleach since then so it doesn't go that horribly wrong now. I have disovered that reds, pinks and purples fade a lot faster than blues and greens, blue is actually a nightmare to get rid of!
I haven't dyed my hair again since this picture. I was going to freshen up the red but then I made the decision to shave it off so it was pointless to spend money on it. Being bald will be very strange but I will be so proud of myself for doing it that I'll only be wearing a hat if its really cold. I considered buying a wig but after I thought about it I decided I don't want to hide it, I want to show it off! Even if I look weird, well, weirder than usual!
So please donate, I have a sponsor form if thats easier than doing it online but here is the link to my donation page Brave shaver feel free to share this blog or my link too.
Gigglesnort
ps. part 2 will be posted after the shave
Wednesday, 22 June 2016
19 Years!
Wow, where have those years gone? At exactly 3.33am 19 years ago I was handed my baby girl. I know love at first sight exists because I felt it right then. I mean I obviously felt love for my baby before I gave birth but that first moment when they're here safely... it just rushes over you.
I was very young when I had her, only 18 years old and terrified of getting it wrong! I wasn't perfect as a parent, we all make mistakes but my daughter assures me that I'm a great mum and thats good enough for me.
Growing up my daughter was a good kid. By no means was she an angel though! I remember clearly one day, her dad was trying to see what was wrong with our washing machine and I asked her to go and ask him how it was going, she came back 2 minutes later and said "Dad says it's fucked!", it took me a second to register what she'd said and at that moment she burst into tears and ran to her bedroom thinking she was in trouble while I collapsed on the floor laughing so hard that my face hurt and I was crying. She was only about 4 years old at the time and only repeating what her dad had said so I wasn't going to shout at her (like I could have without laughing anyway!) for it, besides she was punishing herself enough. Another time we were on holiday at a caravan, it was really windy outside and she kept playing with the door handle. I told her several times to stop or the wind would catch the door but she didn't listen. The wind caught the door and she got sucked outside, her dad jumped up to go check on her while I again burst into hysterical laughter. Her dad made me go into another room while he calmed her down because my laughing was making it worse.
At school she was an eager learner. Always getting good marks on tests (ok, she struggled a bit with maths) and nice in class etc. I never had a bad report card, I was never called into the school because she was in trouble and she was friends with everyone (until high school teenage drama of course!). Her teachers always found it strange that she was good at both art and science but I was always the same too, I think most people are maybe better at one than the other? I don't know. Her favourite subject was always English though, she always had her head in a book growing up and even now she likes to sit and read when she has time.
Video games are also a huge passion of hers. Since she was little and playing kids games on a PC to various consoles now. There was a huge surprise for her once as her stepdad had always said "I won't have a wii in this house!" and then he bought her one for Christmas. I don't think she could believe it was real! He was just happy that she was happy and video games are one of the things they've bonded over.
Other things they have in common are their love of comic books and artwork (theres more too but this has a point). He used to be a graphic designer and she is about to begin studying 3D animation. Her artwork is amazing! I'm honestly not being biased here, she's really good and has actually sold some of her work. She was given an unconditional offer for the course she starts after summer based on how good her portfolio is. I'm so proud of her!
So! To my beautiful, creative, sarcastic, funny, amazing daughter Natalie. Happy birthday! I love you loads and I can't wait for the future!
Gigglesnort
I was very young when I had her, only 18 years old and terrified of getting it wrong! I wasn't perfect as a parent, we all make mistakes but my daughter assures me that I'm a great mum and thats good enough for me.
Growing up my daughter was a good kid. By no means was she an angel though! I remember clearly one day, her dad was trying to see what was wrong with our washing machine and I asked her to go and ask him how it was going, she came back 2 minutes later and said "Dad says it's fucked!", it took me a second to register what she'd said and at that moment she burst into tears and ran to her bedroom thinking she was in trouble while I collapsed on the floor laughing so hard that my face hurt and I was crying. She was only about 4 years old at the time and only repeating what her dad had said so I wasn't going to shout at her (like I could have without laughing anyway!) for it, besides she was punishing herself enough. Another time we were on holiday at a caravan, it was really windy outside and she kept playing with the door handle. I told her several times to stop or the wind would catch the door but she didn't listen. The wind caught the door and she got sucked outside, her dad jumped up to go check on her while I again burst into hysterical laughter. Her dad made me go into another room while he calmed her down because my laughing was making it worse.
At school she was an eager learner. Always getting good marks on tests (ok, she struggled a bit with maths) and nice in class etc. I never had a bad report card, I was never called into the school because she was in trouble and she was friends with everyone (until high school teenage drama of course!). Her teachers always found it strange that she was good at both art and science but I was always the same too, I think most people are maybe better at one than the other? I don't know. Her favourite subject was always English though, she always had her head in a book growing up and even now she likes to sit and read when she has time.
Video games are also a huge passion of hers. Since she was little and playing kids games on a PC to various consoles now. There was a huge surprise for her once as her stepdad had always said "I won't have a wii in this house!" and then he bought her one for Christmas. I don't think she could believe it was real! He was just happy that she was happy and video games are one of the things they've bonded over.
Other things they have in common are their love of comic books and artwork (theres more too but this has a point). He used to be a graphic designer and she is about to begin studying 3D animation. Her artwork is amazing! I'm honestly not being biased here, she's really good and has actually sold some of her work. She was given an unconditional offer for the course she starts after summer based on how good her portfolio is. I'm so proud of her!
So! To my beautiful, creative, sarcastic, funny, amazing daughter Natalie. Happy birthday! I love you loads and I can't wait for the future!
Gigglesnort
Sunday, 12 June 2016
The balloon
On Friday afternoon I released a balloon into the sky with a letter attached. I did this in honour of my friend who passed away last summer. Friday was significant because it was the day his ashes were scattered by his family, on the right hand side of the main stage at Download Festival so that he can forever be somewhere he loved going and can rock out forever.
In the letter I've written a short note to whoever finds it explaining why it was released and my contact details. I also left a personal message for my friend. I hope someone finds it and gets in touch.
My friend's name is Scott. He was part of my life for over 10 years and I miss him so much. He was the kind of guy that everybody loved, funny, sweet, filthy as hell, a great listener, gave good advice and was always there for his friends no matter what.
He was very well known in the rock and metal community, you could say he stood out! Known as the Kilted Slipknot Guy to people who didn't know his name and to us who did too. He was passionate about music and obviously his favourite band Slipknot was something he could talk about for hours.
I met him online in late 2004 (on a dating site, shut up!), he instantly got my attention by just being his funny self. We talked almost every day when we could and we got along fantastically. We didn't actually meet in person until summer 2005, we had a brief fling which unfortunately had to end as he was moving back to Glasgow and as a single parent I had to put my daughters interests first (that didn't include spending money we didn't have to go see a boyfriend every other weekend). We'll never know if things would have worked out but I am grateful to him for making me feel beautiful again after the awful relationship I'd been in before with my daughters dad. We went back to just being friends and since then he was someone I could always go to with anything that was bothering me and he'd talk me back to sanity.
The great sadness is that he couldn't fight his own demons. As well as some physical disability (as you can see by the crutches, which he happily crowd surfed with btw) he suffered from depression, bi-polar disorder I believe. The darkness was too much in the end. I really don't want to dwell on what happened but I will say that I didn't expect it. We'd spoken the day before and while he was definitely not in a good place, he still spoke as if we'd see each other again and even agreed to meet up next time I was up his end of the country.
The outpouring of love and heartbreak afterwards shows how many people he touched, how many people loved him, and how lucky we all were to have known such a beautiful person. The fact that almost a year later we're all still heartsick about him shows a lot about who he was.
My thoughts will always be with his family and friends, people who were closer to him than I was in the end. He made my life that little bit better and brighter and he will forever have a piece of my heart. I love you my friend, I will never forget you.
Gigglesnort
PS. I'm gonna miss his annual reminders of steak and blowjob day, national cleavage day and anything else that let him see boobs!
PPS. Rock out with your cock out!!!
*None of the photos of him belong to me*
In the letter I've written a short note to whoever finds it explaining why it was released and my contact details. I also left a personal message for my friend. I hope someone finds it and gets in touch.
My friend's name is Scott. He was part of my life for over 10 years and I miss him so much. He was the kind of guy that everybody loved, funny, sweet, filthy as hell, a great listener, gave good advice and was always there for his friends no matter what.
He was very well known in the rock and metal community, you could say he stood out! Known as the Kilted Slipknot Guy to people who didn't know his name and to us who did too. He was passionate about music and obviously his favourite band Slipknot was something he could talk about for hours.
I met him online in late 2004 (on a dating site, shut up!), he instantly got my attention by just being his funny self. We talked almost every day when we could and we got along fantastically. We didn't actually meet in person until summer 2005, we had a brief fling which unfortunately had to end as he was moving back to Glasgow and as a single parent I had to put my daughters interests first (that didn't include spending money we didn't have to go see a boyfriend every other weekend). We'll never know if things would have worked out but I am grateful to him for making me feel beautiful again after the awful relationship I'd been in before with my daughters dad. We went back to just being friends and since then he was someone I could always go to with anything that was bothering me and he'd talk me back to sanity.
The great sadness is that he couldn't fight his own demons. As well as some physical disability (as you can see by the crutches, which he happily crowd surfed with btw) he suffered from depression, bi-polar disorder I believe. The darkness was too much in the end. I really don't want to dwell on what happened but I will say that I didn't expect it. We'd spoken the day before and while he was definitely not in a good place, he still spoke as if we'd see each other again and even agreed to meet up next time I was up his end of the country.
The outpouring of love and heartbreak afterwards shows how many people he touched, how many people loved him, and how lucky we all were to have known such a beautiful person. The fact that almost a year later we're all still heartsick about him shows a lot about who he was.
My thoughts will always be with his family and friends, people who were closer to him than I was in the end. He made my life that little bit better and brighter and he will forever have a piece of my heart. I love you my friend, I will never forget you.
Gigglesnort
PS. I'm gonna miss his annual reminders of steak and blowjob day, national cleavage day and anything else that let him see boobs!
PPS. Rock out with your cock out!!!
*None of the photos of him belong to me*
Monday, 6 June 2016
Being grateful for the little things
Sometimes life is a massive crapfest. Everyone experiences this, where no matter what you do everything goes wrong and you wonder why Karma is kicking your ass. I was reminded recently that even though things are bad you should find happiness in the little things that are around you or the tiny scraps of joy that occasionally pop up in a world of shit. I've spoken enough on the bad in a previous post on here so I'm going to focus on the good for this one.
I recently got a puppy. I've always been a cat person and my thoughts on dogs were that they're a lot of work. I was right, training is a lot of work but its fun! I love it when she learns something new, or she brings me something she found in the garden (usually an old broken peg or a stick) and how she gets excited when people come to visit (everyone is her friend!). She's brought me a lot of happiness over the last few weeks and I'm sure will continue to for many years to come.
I also live in a rather beautiful place, in a farm cottage with gorgeous views over the local countryside and hills. On clear days you can see for miles, you can watch the weather roll in across the valley (thunderstorms are spectacular with the view from here!), theres no streetlights so at night there is very little light pollution and you can see every star in the sky and things like meteor showers we can literally just go out and look up.
Inside my house is filled with things that make me happy. Bookshelves overflowing with books and comics, geeky collectibles, every wall and door in my living room has something on it (pictures, banners etc) and even my windows are home to things on display. I don't care that its cluttered (untidy really) or that its a mix of themes (superheroes to dragons to art deco style owls) it suits me and my fiance and shows both of our personalities. We just need to get the rest of the house done to our style now.
I have some really great friends, some old some new but all amazing people. I'm the first to admit I can be a bit of a bad friend (terrible for not keeping in touch) sometimes, its never intentional but life can get in the way occasionally. I am trying to work on that though! I have a really good friend who's helped me a lot in recent years, when my anxiety was at its very worst and I felt like I couldn't do anything she dragged me out of the house and made me live. I hated her some days for that but it was the best thing she could do for me and it worked! She still does a lot for me and I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. Another really good friend I've known his whole life but we've only become close in the last year, he helped me a lot when things were really bad earlier this year, held me when I cried and listened to my ramblings. Even now things are better he still looks out for me and I love him dearly. My best friend lives far away unfortunately and because of that we don't see each other very often but when we do its like no time has passed at all. I miss that bitch every single day! I even miss her calling me while she's on the toilet (classy as fuck!) but I'll hopefully be seeing her soon.
My family... we have our fights and fall outs (normal family stuff) but I love them all. My parents have done loads for me over the years (taking me and my daughter in when we were homeless, countless hours of babysitting and now allowing my daughter to live with them while she's at college), my siblings too have helped me out and have my deepest gratitude for everything. I only wish I could see them all more often.
My fiance has put up with a lot from me and a lesser man would have walked long before now. Instead he's supported me, tolerated my mood swings, held me tight as I begged him to go, looked after me when I couldn't look after myself, helped me raise my daughter through the awful teenage years (they have a really close bond now), talked me down when I've been completely irrational, stood by my side and fought my corner. I couldn't wish for more than that. Don't get me wrong, there are days where I could quite happily murder him and dispose of his corpse in a shallow grave, but I'm sure he feels the same way.
Finally my daughter. Shes amazing! She makes me so proud. She's following her own path after trying out what others (her father) thought she should do and hating every second of it shes now using her real talents and studying something she has a passion for. She's sarcastic (no idea where that comes from... honest!), funny, sweet, caring... I could go on and on!
So for all the bad theres plenty of good, you just have to take stock of it. Even on the worst of days theres always something that can shine some light.
Gigglesnort
Ps. nothing brightens up my day like hearing that someone who has wronged me has Karma kicking their ass (or should I say knee?) in return :D
I recently got a puppy. I've always been a cat person and my thoughts on dogs were that they're a lot of work. I was right, training is a lot of work but its fun! I love it when she learns something new, or she brings me something she found in the garden (usually an old broken peg or a stick) and how she gets excited when people come to visit (everyone is her friend!). She's brought me a lot of happiness over the last few weeks and I'm sure will continue to for many years to come.
I also live in a rather beautiful place, in a farm cottage with gorgeous views over the local countryside and hills. On clear days you can see for miles, you can watch the weather roll in across the valley (thunderstorms are spectacular with the view from here!), theres no streetlights so at night there is very little light pollution and you can see every star in the sky and things like meteor showers we can literally just go out and look up.
Inside my house is filled with things that make me happy. Bookshelves overflowing with books and comics, geeky collectibles, every wall and door in my living room has something on it (pictures, banners etc) and even my windows are home to things on display. I don't care that its cluttered (untidy really) or that its a mix of themes (superheroes to dragons to art deco style owls) it suits me and my fiance and shows both of our personalities. We just need to get the rest of the house done to our style now.
I have some really great friends, some old some new but all amazing people. I'm the first to admit I can be a bit of a bad friend (terrible for not keeping in touch) sometimes, its never intentional but life can get in the way occasionally. I am trying to work on that though! I have a really good friend who's helped me a lot in recent years, when my anxiety was at its very worst and I felt like I couldn't do anything she dragged me out of the house and made me live. I hated her some days for that but it was the best thing she could do for me and it worked! She still does a lot for me and I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. Another really good friend I've known his whole life but we've only become close in the last year, he helped me a lot when things were really bad earlier this year, held me when I cried and listened to my ramblings. Even now things are better he still looks out for me and I love him dearly. My best friend lives far away unfortunately and because of that we don't see each other very often but when we do its like no time has passed at all. I miss that bitch every single day! I even miss her calling me while she's on the toilet (classy as fuck!) but I'll hopefully be seeing her soon.
My family... we have our fights and fall outs (normal family stuff) but I love them all. My parents have done loads for me over the years (taking me and my daughter in when we were homeless, countless hours of babysitting and now allowing my daughter to live with them while she's at college), my siblings too have helped me out and have my deepest gratitude for everything. I only wish I could see them all more often.
My fiance has put up with a lot from me and a lesser man would have walked long before now. Instead he's supported me, tolerated my mood swings, held me tight as I begged him to go, looked after me when I couldn't look after myself, helped me raise my daughter through the awful teenage years (they have a really close bond now), talked me down when I've been completely irrational, stood by my side and fought my corner. I couldn't wish for more than that. Don't get me wrong, there are days where I could quite happily murder him and dispose of his corpse in a shallow grave, but I'm sure he feels the same way.
Finally my daughter. Shes amazing! She makes me so proud. She's following her own path after trying out what others (her father) thought she should do and hating every second of it shes now using her real talents and studying something she has a passion for. She's sarcastic (no idea where that comes from... honest!), funny, sweet, caring... I could go on and on!
So for all the bad theres plenty of good, you just have to take stock of it. Even on the worst of days theres always something that can shine some light.
Gigglesnort
Ps. nothing brightens up my day like hearing that someone who has wronged me has Karma kicking their ass (or should I say knee?) in return :D
Friday, 27 May 2016
The good, the bad and the micropenis
Hey! I thought this time I would post some mildly amusing (to me at least) stories of dating from way back when I was single. I got the idea after arguing with my friend over whether "chillin and watchin dvds" is a date or not. Bear in mind this was a first date with someone... that poor girl! So I got thinking about terrible dates I've been on and this is the result.
Lets start with a not so terrible yet not great date I went on with one guy. I'll start by saying that while he was lovely I wasn't really that interested but I thought I'd give him a chance. Our date consisted of him talking about modern architecture (a subject I have little interest in and he clearly knew far too much about), him complaining about the cost of a cup of coffee (I paid for my own) and how he didn't think that feminism was a real thing. I was bored and made my excuses, went home and ignored his requests for a second date.
Another man I really quite liked, we'd been out a few times and seemed to get on really well. He was funny and charming (a rarity!), fun to be around and I really thought it could be the beginning of something wonderful. Until one night I invited him to mine for the first time (my daughter was away so I felt it was a good idea for a 5th date. We were sitting watching TV with my housemate (ER I believe) before she went out and he made a comment about a black actor "He should go back where he came from" I'm sorry, what?! He played it off as a poor taste joke and we forgot about it. Later on we were talking and I asked him about it. He pretty much admitted to being racist saying that he'd taken his son for shoes but refused to let an (I'm not going to type the word he actually used) Indian woman measure his sons feet. I kicked him out with zero regrets. Disgusting excuse for a human!
Another guy I'd been out with a few times (and again we got on well) took me on the date from hell! It started off ok, we met in Edinburgh and decided to walk and see where our feet took us. We ended up spending 3 hours in a music shop looking at keyboards... boring but not awful. Our next stop was a bar for a few drinks before dinner, it was ok but he started acting quite pretentious and like he was above everyone around us, he spoke to the barmaid like a piece of shit which I didn't like at all and then got uppity at the restaurant because we had to wait an hour for a table. While we had some time to spare he suggested going to another shop... he didn't tell me it was a sex shop! Now I have nothing against them but it was unexpected. He asked the woman behind the counter if she knew of any swingers parties going on that night, thankfully the answer was no (I wasn't up for that and he hadn't asked me if I was interested) and we went back to the restaurant. As we were waiting for our food he said something along the lines of "You know, you'd be really pretty if you lost weight". Ummm ok, you asked me out repeatedly as I look now so whats the fucking problem here? quickly followed up with "If you started working out I'd be very happy". At that point I stood up, told him he'd blown it and walked out. My only regret was not eating first (I ended up at McDonalds). A few weeks later I heard from him again, asking if I'd calmed down enough to meet up again, I told him that if he was the last man on earth I'd become a lesbian and that was the end of that.
A good one now! Technically it wasn't a date but I'm counting it anyway. I was visiting a friend over New Years and she took me to a club she used to go to (a youth club, it was 20 years ago!) to introduce me to her friends who would be at her Hogmanay party. I met a load of cool people but one guy wouldn't talk to me, just smiled (ooohhh candy!) at me. At the actual party he was hanging out in the kitchen while I was being sociable but one guy was being creepy and wouldn't leave me alone so I ended up in the kitchen too, hiding behind mr mysterious so I could escape. We ended up talking for the rest of the night and obviously kissed at midnight (WOW!!!!). This was the start of a 300 mile long distance relationship with my first love.
Another that was not technically a date but turned into an amazing friendship. I'd been talking to him online for ages but we'd never met desite only living half an hour from each other. I happened to have a job interview in his town and it was his day off so I arranged to meet him after for a cuppa. My interview went horribly, the woman holding the interview was late and pissed off (I think she'd forgotten she'd arranged interview for that day), took us in groups and didn't take notes of what anyone was saying. I was late meeting my friend and my battery had died on my phone, so I was getting annoyed myself, but thankfully my friend waited and was very understanding about the situation. We went to his for a cuppa and we just talked for hours, he was very much the gentleman and walked me to the bus stop when I needed to get home. Just as my bus was arriving he grabbed me and kissed me... I definitely wasn't complaining! We saw each other a few more times after that but didn't get the chance to see if we could make it something more as he was moving away. We kept in touch though.
One more bad now. This "man" was a piece of work. Pursued me for a while but I was seeing someone at the time so I'd turned him down. Eventually I decided to give it a go as again I seemed to get on well with him. Intitally it was fun! We met and he kissed me on the cheek and held my arm as we walked across the road to the bar we were going to. We had a couple of drinks, argued over what to put on the jukebox and laughed a lot. It got late and I was thanking him for taking me out, telling him I'd had fun and would love to go out again when he started asking why I wasn't going back to his, that I "owed" him (I paid for as many drinks as he did) and that if I didn't I was just a tease! Motherfucker no you fucking don't! Asked him to never contact me again and left with my dignity intact (a first!). Unfortunately he didn't listen to my request to leave me alone and I had a few weeks of constant calls and messages which I ignored until I just snapped. I answered the phone and told him that if it didn't stop immediately I was going to the police to press charges for harassment. Funnily enough that was the last I heard.
Last one! The bestest one! He messaged me on Myspace, it was the weirdest message I've ever had in my life involving fire, teflon, and one continuous sentence about how he was weird. Well how could I not reply! This was the start of a month of talking almost every day on Myspaz and msn, I asked him out and we arranged it for the end of that month. We lived a couple of hours away from each other so we met in Edinburgh (not exactly half way but best we could manage that wasn't Dalkieth!). We spent the day walking round town, I got a tattoo, he bought a camera and we laughed all day. Went for a meal at Dirty Dicks and giggled like children. Sat in the gardens and talked and talked. (Don't vomit now!) I just knew then that this would be something special. I was very right and I have the ring to prove it!
Gigglesnort
ps. One of these men has a micropenis but I'm too classy to say who, all I will say is its not my fiance!
Lets start with a not so terrible yet not great date I went on with one guy. I'll start by saying that while he was lovely I wasn't really that interested but I thought I'd give him a chance. Our date consisted of him talking about modern architecture (a subject I have little interest in and he clearly knew far too much about), him complaining about the cost of a cup of coffee (I paid for my own) and how he didn't think that feminism was a real thing. I was bored and made my excuses, went home and ignored his requests for a second date.
Another man I really quite liked, we'd been out a few times and seemed to get on really well. He was funny and charming (a rarity!), fun to be around and I really thought it could be the beginning of something wonderful. Until one night I invited him to mine for the first time (my daughter was away so I felt it was a good idea for a 5th date. We were sitting watching TV with my housemate (ER I believe) before she went out and he made a comment about a black actor "He should go back where he came from" I'm sorry, what?! He played it off as a poor taste joke and we forgot about it. Later on we were talking and I asked him about it. He pretty much admitted to being racist saying that he'd taken his son for shoes but refused to let an (I'm not going to type the word he actually used) Indian woman measure his sons feet. I kicked him out with zero regrets. Disgusting excuse for a human!
Another guy I'd been out with a few times (and again we got on well) took me on the date from hell! It started off ok, we met in Edinburgh and decided to walk and see where our feet took us. We ended up spending 3 hours in a music shop looking at keyboards... boring but not awful. Our next stop was a bar for a few drinks before dinner, it was ok but he started acting quite pretentious and like he was above everyone around us, he spoke to the barmaid like a piece of shit which I didn't like at all and then got uppity at the restaurant because we had to wait an hour for a table. While we had some time to spare he suggested going to another shop... he didn't tell me it was a sex shop! Now I have nothing against them but it was unexpected. He asked the woman behind the counter if she knew of any swingers parties going on that night, thankfully the answer was no (I wasn't up for that and he hadn't asked me if I was interested) and we went back to the restaurant. As we were waiting for our food he said something along the lines of "You know, you'd be really pretty if you lost weight". Ummm ok, you asked me out repeatedly as I look now so whats the fucking problem here? quickly followed up with "If you started working out I'd be very happy". At that point I stood up, told him he'd blown it and walked out. My only regret was not eating first (I ended up at McDonalds). A few weeks later I heard from him again, asking if I'd calmed down enough to meet up again, I told him that if he was the last man on earth I'd become a lesbian and that was the end of that.
A good one now! Technically it wasn't a date but I'm counting it anyway. I was visiting a friend over New Years and she took me to a club she used to go to (a youth club, it was 20 years ago!) to introduce me to her friends who would be at her Hogmanay party. I met a load of cool people but one guy wouldn't talk to me, just smiled (ooohhh candy!) at me. At the actual party he was hanging out in the kitchen while I was being sociable but one guy was being creepy and wouldn't leave me alone so I ended up in the kitchen too, hiding behind mr mysterious so I could escape. We ended up talking for the rest of the night and obviously kissed at midnight (WOW!!!!). This was the start of a 300 mile long distance relationship with my first love.
Another that was not technically a date but turned into an amazing friendship. I'd been talking to him online for ages but we'd never met desite only living half an hour from each other. I happened to have a job interview in his town and it was his day off so I arranged to meet him after for a cuppa. My interview went horribly, the woman holding the interview was late and pissed off (I think she'd forgotten she'd arranged interview for that day), took us in groups and didn't take notes of what anyone was saying. I was late meeting my friend and my battery had died on my phone, so I was getting annoyed myself, but thankfully my friend waited and was very understanding about the situation. We went to his for a cuppa and we just talked for hours, he was very much the gentleman and walked me to the bus stop when I needed to get home. Just as my bus was arriving he grabbed me and kissed me... I definitely wasn't complaining! We saw each other a few more times after that but didn't get the chance to see if we could make it something more as he was moving away. We kept in touch though.
One more bad now. This "man" was a piece of work. Pursued me for a while but I was seeing someone at the time so I'd turned him down. Eventually I decided to give it a go as again I seemed to get on well with him. Intitally it was fun! We met and he kissed me on the cheek and held my arm as we walked across the road to the bar we were going to. We had a couple of drinks, argued over what to put on the jukebox and laughed a lot. It got late and I was thanking him for taking me out, telling him I'd had fun and would love to go out again when he started asking why I wasn't going back to his, that I "owed" him (I paid for as many drinks as he did) and that if I didn't I was just a tease! Motherfucker no you fucking don't! Asked him to never contact me again and left with my dignity intact (a first!). Unfortunately he didn't listen to my request to leave me alone and I had a few weeks of constant calls and messages which I ignored until I just snapped. I answered the phone and told him that if it didn't stop immediately I was going to the police to press charges for harassment. Funnily enough that was the last I heard.
Last one! The bestest one! He messaged me on Myspace, it was the weirdest message I've ever had in my life involving fire, teflon, and one continuous sentence about how he was weird. Well how could I not reply! This was the start of a month of talking almost every day on Myspaz and msn, I asked him out and we arranged it for the end of that month. We lived a couple of hours away from each other so we met in Edinburgh (not exactly half way but best we could manage that wasn't Dalkieth!). We spent the day walking round town, I got a tattoo, he bought a camera and we laughed all day. Went for a meal at Dirty Dicks and giggled like children. Sat in the gardens and talked and talked. (Don't vomit now!) I just knew then that this would be something special. I was very right and I have the ring to prove it!
Gigglesnort
ps. One of these men has a micropenis but I'm too classy to say who, all I will say is its not my fiance!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)